Spoons and Knives

What I really want….

To be a cookbook editor

To wander around Florence for the day a month

To wake up as the little spoon with a not-too-bad-looking big spoon

To walk hand-in-hand with someone and feel as giddy as I did when I was fourteen

To have money saved up for a rainy day

To never have to discuss office politics again

What I really need…

To walk hand-in-hand with someone and feel as giddy as I did when I was fourteen

To have money saved up for a rainy day

Want and need. We want the world, we’ll settle for a third floor walk-up in the bad part of town.

For a lady in her mid-twenties, I’m shockingly aware of what I would love my life to be and what will most likely happen. As I look at it, at this point in time, my life can go two ways:

A) I get myself out there and try to find someone who wants the same things I do, and have a good time together for however it lasts.

B) I continue to shoot for the impossible man and end up a very happy older lady with a wonderful career, a nice vacation home and time to do whatever I want.

The first road is undoubtedly harder, dealing with someone else’s craziness, someone else’s neuroses and etc. But as a single lady, there is nothing quite as taxing as being alone. It’s freeing, for sure, but you spend your days consumed with wondering and waiting. Thinking ‘is there something wrong with you?’ Experimenting with new clothes, new hairstyles, and new makeup. Trying to go to clubs you hate. Dragging yourself out to drinks when it has been three days since you’ve gone to bed at a normal hour. Just going to a movie and dinner on a Saturday night.  It is difficult, annoying and you just want to get to the end of the story already (!) but, what fun is there in that? 

This new-found writing experiment has spawned a new-found love experiment as well. I live in New York City. There are beautiful women walking around by the dozen but I’m no country bumpkin and there’s no reason a nice girl can’t find a nice man to be the big spoon and to hold hands with. Looking for love isn’t necessarily fun but one’s got to look at that list of needs and wants and realize there’s more to life than the job and the vacation. One's got to decide if they'd rather be a knife alone or a little spoon together with a bigger spoon--or the bigger spoon together with a smaller spoon, if that's said spoons preference. Ok. Sappiness, check.  Single Female Rant, check. Romantic Comedy Quality, check. 

This is probably one of those ‘early-blog-posts-I’ll-later-come-to-regret’ things but, at least it's something....damn you, Mr. Bradbury.